Being brave for myself

I thought I was doing really well and conquering my depression.  I had a lot of focus on my life, I was very happy and planning on coming off my medication.

Then there was a very confusing episode in my life, which has left me in a bad way.  I'm having to stay on my medication and have lost my drive.

I have reverted to type, in terms of behaviour, and gone back to the way I have always lived my life.  This is characterised by a lack of drive.  The reason for this seems to be a combination of:

• A fear of attempting anything as I am terrified of failing and getting emotionally hurt.  This is regardless of any reality of how often this happens.

• My goals being imposed from without due to strong ambitions for my life from my parents.  This expectation of what I would do and become meant that I didn't set goals for myself and lack personal ambition to achieve.

To make any serious progress in overcoming my depression my next step is clear.  I have to learn to set myself targets.  I need to dare to dream for myself.  I need to fail and not care.

This will not be easy but if I am to live the rest of my life without depression then this is what I must do.

Bad Science in Film: Gravity

I recently saw Star Trek Into Darkness and highly enjoyed it.  It was a great adventure, humorous, touching and swung along at a great pace.  However, there was one moment which threw me out of my pleasant enjoyment and this was a key piece of drama which relied on gravity.

Please be aware that this will now discuss events from the end of the film, so only read on if you have seen the film or don't mind knowing more.....

                                                             Gravity: badly treated in films

Okay. The Enterprise  is some 200,000km from the Earth, the Moon large in the background.  Heavily damaged in a fire-fight the ship loses all main power and can no longer hold its position.  So what happens?  Apparently what happens is that the ship starts falling towards Earth, out of control and doomed to crash into the planet and kill everyone aboard!

What?!  The ship is more than 200,000km away the Earth!  How does gravity work in films? The ship reaches the Earth in around 10mins of film time.  If we assume that the ship starts accelerating at 9.8m/s and there is nothing to slow it down, it would take around 1hr and 45mins to travel 200,000km!  It would also be travelling at around 62km per second.  So it would pretty  much go through the atmosphere in around 3 seconds before leaving a very large crater.

But that would be stupid too, as 9.8m/s only applies if an object is near the Earth's surface.  Every time you double the distance from the source of gravity, the power of gravity reduces by a multiple of four.  The surface of the Earth is around 6,400km from its centre, so the Enterprise was 31 times the distance away.  So the power of the Earth's gravity at this point was accelerating the Enterprise by 0.01m/s!

Hopefully by this time you see my point.  In the film the writers and directors would have us believe that just because the Enterprise lost power, it suddenly careened out of control towards the Earth.  This is massively implausible and for me expresses a black hole in the minds of Hollywood when it comes to science.

This first really hit my attention during Lockout last year.  This was again a highly entertaining film, starring Guy Pearce, and I would heartily recommend it to anyone who enjoys a Die-Hard style film.  It is pretty dumb, but again it treated poor old gravity with a contempt I didn't know it deserved.

                                                                 Lockout: fun but dumb

A space prison has been taken over by the prisoners and the crew killed.  Now this space prison is no longer being actively controlled it is in such an unstable orbit that it will fall to the ground within 6 hours!

First of all, who puts any permanent structure into orbit around the Earth where it won't stay in orbit unless constant adjustments are made.  That makes no sense.  It's a massive waste of fuel and completely pointless.  Next, assuming that even a modicum of sense was deployed and it was in a largely stable orbit which would decline over time, how would it decline in 6 hours?  How strong is gravity here?  Is the idea that anything which is not touching the ground is pretty much going to fall as fast as something you drop from your hand?

I am aware of the need for the suspension of disbelief in films, as well as for dramatic licence.  I am not going to criticise the 'science' of warp travel and transporters, or the merits of space prisons.  We take some things as given.  However, I don't think that the basic laws of nature should be seen as a flexible sacrifice.  It makes no sense that this should have happened.  No-one is claiming space gadgets or some other plot device did it.  Both of these examples simply rely on the 'fact' that things not touching the surface of the Earth fall towards it.

Idiots.

Farewell London Commute

For the past year I have been doing something I never expected to; working in Central London.  I live in the Home Counties and working in London has never appealed to me and, until Jan 2012, I steered clear of every opportunity to do so.

However, my head was finally turned by a golden career opportunity to work at a major global firm at an exciting time to be part of that firm.  It has been tough work but rewarding and it is a shame that I can't continue in that role.  There are various reasons to leave but the main one is the 1 hour and 45 min commute each way.

Prior to this London role my longest ever commute was 1 hour by car.  I thought I could handle the journey for a dream job, but alas I have not been strong enough.  The length of time is dull but there are things you could do if it weren't for the standing.  Seeing as I take a bus, train and two tube journeys, you might think there would be plenty of sitting time.  No.  I get a 20 min ride on the bus and then it is standing room only the whole way.

Though standing room is somewhat of an overstatement.  In truth it is cattle class with someone's elbow in your side most of the time and someone's hair in your face on the Underground.

The future of London Commuting (circa 10 years away)

 

I know people who have never known anything else and put up with it, but I say that £5,000 a year to stand packed shoulder to shoulder is not worth anything and so I say goodbye to London.  Never again.

The Beginning

Welcome to "Venting and Musing".  I have no special expectation of people reading this blog, so thank you for stopping by.

A lifelong sufferer of depression I find myself in the happy position of finally having a handle on the root cause of my issues and a chance to find a life free of this mental illness.

Part of my condition has been a reluctance and inability to put across my point of view.  This blog is intended to offer me an opportunity to express my thoughts about things going on in my life and the world, and by such learn to express myself.

Hopefully any casual reader may find my postings diverting and even interesting.