Being brave for myself

I thought I was doing really well and conquering my depression.  I had a lot of focus on my life, I was very happy and planning on coming off my medication.

Then there was a very confusing episode in my life, which has left me in a bad way.  I'm having to stay on my medication and have lost my drive.

I have reverted to type, in terms of behaviour, and gone back to the way I have always lived my life.  This is characterised by a lack of drive.  The reason for this seems to be a combination of:

• A fear of attempting anything as I am terrified of failing and getting emotionally hurt.  This is regardless of any reality of how often this happens.

• My goals being imposed from without due to strong ambitions for my life from my parents.  This expectation of what I would do and become meant that I didn't set goals for myself and lack personal ambition to achieve.

To make any serious progress in overcoming my depression my next step is clear.  I have to learn to set myself targets.  I need to dare to dream for myself.  I need to fail and not care.

This will not be easy but if I am to live the rest of my life without depression then this is what I must do.